Redbull & Hormones
by The Big Dipper
Summary: Stiles Stilinski has enough problems, what with hormones, school, being the only female on the lacrosse team, and her inability to understand makeup, but now her best friend turns into Jacob Black when the moon comes up. If that isn't bad enough, there's also Derek Hale. The mysterious werewolf from the woods who Stiles can't get out of her head. Sterek, Fem!Stiles.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: **Omg, I really shouldn't be writing this, I have other stories I need to do, but I just need me some Fem!Stiles.

* * *

**Redbull & Hormones**  
**Chapter One: **_The orgasm inducing, slightly creepy, sex god_

Redbull was good. Redbull was jesus. Stiles was currently contemplating the idea of starting a religion for it. Literally, it was the only thing keeping her going. She was seriously dead, with bags under her eyes, and her hair a frizzy mess. It was worth it though, she had been up all hours of the night with her best friend, Scott, completely friend/sister/platonic relationship, this wasn't The Girl Next Door, searching for a dead body, because that's what's supposed to happen in small towns. Plus her dad was the sheriff, and according to her school counselor, Stiles had a sick fascination with dead things. It was whatever.

"Ugh, Scott, why would you do this to me?" she seethed, tossing a paper ball at her friends face. He was large, in her opinion, and tan. Stiles often wondered if, when nobody was looking, he turned into Jacob Black. A perfectly plausible assumption, for Stiles, of course.

He stared at her baffled, mouth dropped, kind of like a fish, "you're the one who-"

"Oh bugger off, be a good gentle-fellow and carry me to class" Stiles groaned and dropped all of her weight onto Scott. She could've sworn it was a yoga position.

Stiles would probably get F's in all her classes by the end of the day, she didn't bring anything she needed, not even a pencil, her entire backpack was just stocked with redbull, hot funyons (her food fetish), and books. Not textbooks, fiction, mythology, it was kind of her thing. Especially vampires, they were bomb diggity, in her opinion.

He grumbled something innapropriate and tried to distract her "oh look, Stiles, Danny" he pointed a finger at a buff boy with a gentle face. Also tan, also brunette, like Scott.

He was Stiles' boo, according to her. He was also gay, and Stiles had made it a hobbie, harassing him with stupid questions like 'If I were boy, what size do you think my penis would be?', but at least she had pure intentions, Scott hoped.

He wouldn't be surprised if one day Stiles just decided to cross dress.

"Danny!" She screeched, scrambling to get off of Scott. Danny's head shot up, staring in her direction, eyes wide, and 'suddenly' walking faster.

_Pffft_ Stiles grinned _as if!_

Just when Stiles was going to pounce, Scott threw his hand out and grabbed her by her collar. She kept trying to run, squirming, biting, and kicking, in an attempt to escape his hold.

"Don't you wanna see my mega bloody bite mark? Gauze and everything?"

That got Stiles attention. Her body fell limp. Then she striked, practically tearing his shirt off. There it was, in all its glory, a blood stained gauze covered, large area, where the bite obviously resigned. Scott blushed and shoved Stiles, yanking at the shirts hem.

"Tell me _everything_" she whispered in awe.

** Redbull & Hormones**

So, apparently, when Stiles' dad caught her, she was sent home and grounded, but Scott continued the adventure without her! a sin punishable by death. Scott was lucky she was a merciful ruler. He even found the body! How crazy is that?!

It gets better,

it was a wolf that bit him!

They lived in California, and wolves, according to the internet, hadn't been to Beacon Hills in years.

Stiles found herself ditching her last three periods of the day to spend time using the school's literary resources to help Scott through his difficult time. If only he had done this for her when she got her first period. _Ungrateful whore _she thought fondly to herself.

She was splayed ontop of a table she claimed as her own, surrounded by werewolf books, like everywhere, making a point to ignore the rules of the school, drinking her redbulls, munching on Hot Funyons. Stiles needed nom noms if she was going to try to understand the whole sitting still concept. It helped that she was friends with the student aid who worked in the library, Isaac Lahey, he was on the same sports team as her.

"Isaac.." she croaked, as though she was sick, letting her limp body slide off the edge of the tabletop.

The meek boy looked up from filing books and frowned, concern washing over his face for the girl who was now looking sickly.

"Are you okay?" his voice was soft.

Stiles just gave a groan and began rolling around the floor, only giving him two words as an explaination, "Brain...Broken."

That sometimes happened when she tried too hard to learn. It almost always worked though. She could just never get comfortable, so Stiles usually only read actual books, instead of off the internet , in weird positons.

* * *

**One Hour Later**

* * *

Stiles was now on the main desk for the aid, draped over it, leds dangling off of one side, head off the other. Isaac sat on the chair, close to her, simply because the small girl demanded it.

She was the biggest little shit ever, and she knew it. Stiles, being the only girl on the Lacrosse team, with all guy friends, had almost all of them wrapped around her little pinky. Even Jackson felt guilty when he hurt her feelings.

"Page" Stiles couldn't hold a book AND read upside down.

One guess as to who she convinced to hold the book for her.

* * *

**Two Hours Later**

* * *

"Thank you Isaac!" Stiles grinned as she twirled around the empty library, everyone else was in class, putting away her mountain of books. Isaac followed her, carrying them for her.

In all honestly, Stiles had a crush on him when they first met, but it never went anywhere, and Stiles hated complicated things, so she decided that she wouldn't think about it, she would just enjoy his company.

"Its no problem" it totally was.

"Well..how about this? I owe you one. You need a ride home or something? gimme a call. Or.." she paused, looking both ways, as if what she was about to say was scandelous, "I'm harboring a cotton candy machine in my basement, we could enjoy a lovely night of sugar highs and innapropriate actions."

Isaac blushed, like the sweetheart he was, and Stiles grinned at him.

"Its really no big deal..."

"Oh shut up and accept, I'm _rarely _nice, now, you know I live for your company, but I must teach Scott how to be the proper Batman to my Robin."

"Who wants to be Robin?"

"In my version, Robins a girl, who's totally bamf, and uses her sex appeal to defeat sexist villains."

Sometimes it was appaling to hear Stiles speak, if she would ever just shut up, she would easily fit in with the quiet outcasts. But, sadly, she spoke a mile a minute. Her tongue sharp as silver.

"Bye, Isaac!" she waved as she retreated from the library quickly, a look of detemination in her eyes.

"Bye Stiles" he wasn't sure she had heard him, but he didn't really care, Stiles was happy, so all was good. For now at least...

* * *

**Redbull & Hormones**

* * *

"Wow Scott, I can't believe you're forcing me to look through the dirty forest for your bong."

Scott rolled his eyes as he moved the autumn leaves around.

"Inhaler."

"Drug Addict."

Stiles pouted and kicked a particularly large pile, effectively hitting a pine cone. It went skidding, and her eyes followed it, until finally, it was caught under a boot. She let her gaze wash over the person's body.

It was like a damn bursting inside of her, ovaries, just, PWOOF! Standing before her was a _sex god_. He was really buff, and tan, with just the right amount of stubble, and soul piercing blue eyes, the kind that Stiles read about.

_Thump,thump,thump,_

"Looking for something?" he held up Scott's inahler, or well, bong.

_ Thump, thump, th-thump_

"Uh..yeah, thanks"

_ th-thump, thump, th-thump_

"This is private property, don't make a habit of it."

_Thumpthumpthumpthump_

Stiles couldn't hear anything over the loud beat of her heart. She'd only every felt like this in the third grade, and that was a pretty freaky years. She had a crush on jackson, Lydia was single, people were normal. It was the kind of stuff that gave her nightmares.

He was a _bad boy_.

She easily recognized him, her brain like an archive of all knowledge, he was Derek Hale. His entire family died in a house fire, sister recently reported missing by , Stiles' teacher, and the only other survivor lived in the hospital. Peter Hale was burnt to a crisp, past any recognition, slowly decaying. She visited him once, and couldn't meet his eyes, her heart panging with pity.

He started walking away, and her mouth watered.

"You've got some drool, Stiles"

"I'm gonna tap that" she vowed in a whisper, not realizing that the young werewolf could hear her.

* * *

**Authors Note: **ASSDUGIEHRIGERJFLERJFERIUHGEIURH female Stiles gives me feels. Send halp.

**xoxo,**

**Iliana**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note**: Okay, this character is a little bit of a crossover, as it has the character Jeremy from TVD in it, but its only as a side character video chat thingy, so don't worry, nothing big, and you don't need to have seen TVD.

* * *

**Redbull & Hormones**

Chapter Two: _DOWN FIDO!_

* * *

"Go left, Go left!"  
"THIS IS LEFT!"  
"Not your left, my left!"  
"WHICH WAY IS YOUR LEFT?!"  
"What do you mean which way is my left?! Its left?"  
"I don't know, does the picture camera crap thingy flip during video chats?"  
"I-I don't know"  
"OOH, C4!"  
"STILES NO!"

There was no way to help it. Stiles had already killed off her own character, she stared at the blank screen dumbstruck.

"Oh, poo."

She was gaming with her friend Jeremy, who lived out in who knows where Virgina. They always skyped and gamed every Friday night, it was just their thing. Plus it was fun to see peoples reactions when she said she was busy on Friday night.

"We totes need to practice our teamwork" Stiles grinned as she popped open a bag of extra large Hot Funyons, almost inhaling them.

"You, you need to practice!" Jeremy gaped at the small girl. Sometimes it was astounding how oblivious Stiles seemed, and then when the challenge rose, she would suddenly know everything about everything. It was...unnerving, to say the least.

Stiles shrugged and bobbed her head, munching on her chips. Her structured hands moved quick, scrolling over the mouse, and opening the skype window.

Jeremy was seriously attractive, and Stiles would probably like him that way, if they were friends in real life, or ever met. He had shaggy black hair and these big brown eyes that looked tired. Did she mention that he was surprisingly...buff? well he was.

"Hey, Jer?" Stiles smacked her lips together and swallowed another handful.

Jeremy pulled out a notebook and started doodling "hmm?"

"What do you know about werewolves?"

This peaked Jeremy's interest. His pencil snapped, and his head shot up, eyes wide, alarmed. "Why?" Stiles narrowed her eyes, staring openly at him. he was so tense, it weird. He obviously knew something and wasn't sharing his knowledge.

She needed to know this stuff, considering just a couple hours ago, Scott clawed a tear right through her gaming chair. And when Stiles showed up at the party as Scott's wingman, he went batshit and disappeared with sex god Hale.

"Because I asked you, that's why, jeezus, I'm supposed to be the twitchy one here."

Jeremy glared and she scoffed. He was _so_ not scary. She was curious for Scott's sake, and if he was a werewolf, then he'd be so screwed, he needed Stiles. Hell, he'd never seen a single werewolf movie. Christmas was coming up, and Stiles already knew what she was getting him.

"Well...what do you wanna know?"

Stiles cocked her head, a chesire grin spreading across her lips.

_ "Everything."_

* * *

**Redbull & Hormones**

* * *

So Jeremy was kind of useless. The information he gave her was extremely limited, and he was obviously holding back, but Stiles wasn't going to the bite the hand that was feeding her. She'd already managed to get a migraine from the countless hours spent scrolling through google. Stiles even went past the first page, also known as 'no mans land.'

'It was whatever' was becoming her new motto.

When Stiles showed up at school, Scott was rambling about how Allison's, his apparent true love, father was a werewolf hunter. The things she missed while gaming. _Sigh_.

"McCall!"

Stiles rolled her eyes. Coach Finstock had a pole lodged up his ass, like, since birth. It was weird, but she could understand. She saw the Farah Abraham porno.

Scott and her were at Lacrosse practice, and it was seriously annoying. Because she was the only girl on the team, she didn't have a locker room, she had to change in the girls bathroom stalls, and the sexist asshole of a coach barely ever let her play. It was some serious bull.

Hell the only reason they even let Stiles on the team was because her father was the sheriff of police, and was more then ready to beat the shit out of the principle.

Stiles kept her eyes trained on Scott, waiting for even the smallest sign that he was going to lose control. She tapped her hands nervously on her thigh, to the beat of some song she was too busy to remember the name of. Her left hand shook in the cold as she gripped the small metal container.

Redbull.  
Unf.

Just then, coach started yelling, and Scott was totally freaking out. And by freaking out, Stiles meant _freaking _out. Like glowing eyes, pointy teeth, kind of freak out. Her body moved without her even having to think about it, she lunged, her tiny hand gripping his large forearm.

"Scott, _chill _yourself" Scott shot her a glare, which suddenly made him somewhat scary, probably the fangs, "okay, don't chill yourself, uh just um c'mon."

Stiles stuttered and gave coach a cheery grin, and a tiny wave, trying to sooth his suspicions, despite the fact that she was dragging her friends, practically limp, body off to the locker room.

"Stilins-"

"Its fine coach, you know how difficult it can be to go through highschool, Scott's just getting worked up over Jackson's hot buns, I'm gonna go help him soul search" she rambled, her teeth clanging, grin widening as Jackson raged. She was pretty sure she saw his lacrosse stick crack a little. Oops.

* * *

**Redbull & Hormones**

* * *

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT"

"DOWN FIDO!"

Stiles probably would have laughed, had she been in a different situation.

"SHIT, FUCK, SHIT"

"REMEMBER ME, FIDO?"

"BEST FRIEND?"

"I HAVE BOOBS, THEREFOR YOU CANNOT HARM ME"

The can of redbull bent under her hard grip. She would be lying if her heart wasn't racing a mile a minute. In her other hand she held Scott's lacrosse stick, swinging it around, eyes darting all around the room.

It was moments like these that Stiles was glad that Scott didn't get a 'monthly visitor.' Could you imagine? ugh. All day it'd be hormonal whining about Allison, and then when the sun went down he'd get all hyped up and terrorize the village.

"Where the fuck is Scooby when I need him.." Stiles muttered under her breath, when suddenly, the though of Derek brought a memory to mind.

She had the wolfsbane in her bag!

_Just earlier that day, Stiles and Scott went to investigate Derek's creaky old burnt home, because Scott smelt blood. It was weird, but whatever. There was a chance she would get a nice shot of Derek in the shower, so she had no problem with the adventure._

_ "Oi, Cujo, you're the one with the paws, why do I have to help?" she whined as they shoveled into the dirt ground, her elbows were cramping up, and for once she realized why the school forced children to exercise. _

_ "Because.." Scott grunted and shoveled another eighty pounder with his superhuman strength "because...you're my best friend?"_

_ "Pfft" Stiles let out a breath of air as she lifted another scoop "you'd better plan on taking me for nom noms after this, Jeezus, my thighs weren't meant for this much squatting."_

_ The two eventually came across half of a dead wolf. That turned into a dead half human girl. Ahh...the other half of the body._

_ Stiles cocked her head and poked it with a stick, blood oozed out of the arm. She gagged and turned around, Scott shot her an amused grin, "I thought you liked dead bodies?" Stiles flipped him the bird "Its more so the concept then the actual thing, Its not so much the body, as it is the blood."_

_ "The fuck is it wrapped in?" Stiles bent down and began untangling the odd plant from her arm._

_ "She, Stiles, she, and I don't know, but we need to call your dad."_

_ "Maybe daddy can give me Derek as a christmas present?"_

_ "Shutup, Stiles."_

It turned out to be poison to werewolf's, Scott found that out the hard way. He went tumbling out of Stiles' jeep, to be exact.

She grinned and ripped the top of her bag open, grabbing a hold of the herb and sprinkling it around herself in a circle.

Now she just had to wait.

* * *

**Redbull & Hormones**

* * *

Eventually Scotty calmed down, Allison showed up, Stiles hid, Scott kissed Allison, etc, etc, hormones.

_Note to self _Stiles pondered _order large quantities of wolves bane, and buy Scott a flea collar_.

"I didn't spill my redbull?" she offered cheerily to her brooding best friend, raising her somewhat bent can, still halfway full.

Scott and Stiles had already made it home to the McCalls house, and Stiles was over by the stove, preparing a somewhat edible meal for , who worked long hours at the hospital.

There was one thing Claudia Stilinski was able to teach Stiles before her...parting. Cooking. The one feminine thing Stiles was good at. She made a mean fettucini alfredo.

"Shutup, Stiles" Scott still had the same goofy grin on his face that frustrated the small Stilinski girl.

She lifted the spoon from the pan, and flicked a noodle at the boy. It stuck to his face and her eyes lit up with joy.

"Dinner's done...oh and by the way...would it be a bad time to mention..."

"Stiles..."

"Dereksnotinjailanymore"

"WHAT!?"

"Um yeah, I was gonna tell you, but like, you were a little busy with... you know.." Stiles fumbled with the sauce "Allison's tonuge."

_Oh no _Stiles frowned  
"I don't think there's enough sauce either.."

* * *

**Authors Note: **I don't even know what to say, this came out so fast, let me know what you thought!


End file.
